Monday, March 29, 2010

Cuckoo Shock

Situation: Dinner at Tracy's. Rachel has been requested to bring "dessert?" She accepts the challenge. It is also fantasy baseball draft day, leaving Rachel with surprisingly little time to figure out what this dessert will be.

Approach: Cogs in Rachel's brain begin to turn (ever slowly). "What is fast?" she thinks. "Pudding pie," a little cog says. "Oh, what flavor!?" A trip to the jello-o website reveals a whole host of options. Chocolate! Vanilla! Banana Cream! and the pièce de résistance ...White Chocolate! Go little cogs, go. "What goes with white chocolate?" How about a strawberry...jam? Or pretzels would be nice. Something along the lines of chocolate covered pretzels in a white chocolate pudding.

Execution: A trip to the grocery store reveals what Rachel had long suspected. No white chocolate pudding!! But the others were there (and on sale 4 for $3). New plan, quickly devised. What would go with banana cream? Rachel has to think outside the box if she's going to ever win that Pillsbury bake-off, let alone please her friends at dinner. Then genius strikes...Cocoa Puffs! They're crunchy, chocolaty. They will be delicious in a creamy banana pudding.

And so it went. A quick and easy pudding pie, constructed and let to set for an hour or so.

Results: Shockingly weird. The cocoa puffs did not stand up to the pudding, and became chewy, half-soggy, cardboardy mystery nuggets in the middle of the pudding. New theories postulated - any mix-ins must be impermeable. Suggested solutions include the previously mentioned chocolate covered pretzels, whoppers, or Reeses balls.

Bonus: Pretty good fantasy baseball team.

Monday, March 22, 2010

Like the Desserts Miss the Rain, MacArthur Park

Rachel, kudos on the tutor cookies. You are such a good maiden aunt! And you even fed me in my own time of need, as you, Jenny, and Chins provided hardy beef stew and mint-chocolate cake that could vanquish any tree-ripping, sky-weeping storm. Here's a re-cap of the cake, that was simple and yet so very very good:

1 box Pills Devil's Food cake (plus what they indicate to make batter)
1 package mint-chocolate chips
1 (8 oz.) carton heavy cream (or whipping cream)
loads of mint extract
more chocolate

Ok, I have to admit, I was still basically asleep when the cake was made, but that will only make this remembrance more dream-like, and esoteric, right?

Make the cake like a normal cake and mix in the chips. Bake and cool. For the frosting, borrow your nice neighbor's totally sweet hand-mixer/wand that rotates 800-million times per second. Melt some semi-sweet chocolate (I really have no idea how much, maybe 3 ounces). Let it cool, but stay melted. Whip it in with the cream, add enough mint extract so that it hits you like a shot of whiskey, and don't stop till the peaks are stiff. Frost and enjoy the perfect combination of quilted-downhome chocolately-warm goodness and whippet-fresh bright-eyed wonder. We figure we can soup it up a little for the Pills submission, but this is a winner taste, ease, and appearance-wise. And we did not leave it outside in the tempest of rain...

Now, to bring you up to date, last night we

LOVED

Tracy's inspiration: apple dump cake. Which might need a slight name change. Suggestions? Votes? Here are some to riff on or start your own creative juices flowing:

- Apple Goop (*plays on association with everyone's most beloved actress, Gwyneth Paltow!)
- Prairie Pie (*unfortunately plays on association with people stewing prairie dogs)
- Autumn Cobbler (*positive and negative associations with aging Geppetto)
- Butta Flava (*could help develop inroads with various judge demographics)

I don't even want to give this recipe away, but will mention that some cranberries were key to balance and appearance. Maybe Tracy will craft an interpretive dance to fully convey the beauty, symmetry, and grace of this dish.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Tough Cookie

Well, I had wanted my newest blog entry to be about balance. I had this great entry all worked up in my head, but then I remembered that tomorrow is the birthday of one of my SAT students. So , I attempted to whip up a batch of sugar cookies for him. The result was so terrible that I knew I had to write about that instead.

The premise was pretty simple. I found a sugar cookie recipe in my recipe bible, aka The Better Homes and Gardens Cook Book. It even had a best loved heart next to it. Best Loved! I could already imagine how tomorrow would go at tutoring.


Dereck: Wow, miss. You made me cookies!? You’re the best tutor ever.
Rachel: Oh, that’s so sweet of you to say, Dereck. I do it because I care. Happy birthday.

And then I would tutor the hell out of those next two hours, while the students sat back with full bellies and smiles on their faces. Pythagorean theorems utilized, thesis statements written, vocabulary words successfully inserted into sentences. Yeah, the best tutor ever.

Sadly, I don’t foresee that happening. I think what will actually happen is closer to:

Frantic, running-late Rachel: Uh, hi. Hello, right here! Pay attention! Goddamn it, Dereck, I made you cookies!!
Dereck: What? These gross looking things? Uh, thanks I guess.
Rachel: Oh, give me a break. It’s the thought that counts. Get your book out.

I think the problem started when I decided to go with a half batch. Halving is hard. For instance, what is half of 3 egg whites? And what is half of 1 ¾ cup? My brain said a little less than 1 cup. But I think my hands went for way less than 1 cup. The dough was loose (and not the fun kind). And why does any recipe ever call for cream of tartar? I figured skipping that would be fine. I also spruced up the recipe a bit with some lemon and lime zest.

Oh, BHG I should never have deviated from your wisdom. The result was completely flat, rock-hard little discs of evilness. What I was able to scrape off the cookie sheet actually didn’t taste that bad, but it was repulsive to look at. Like that chihuahua that won the ugliest dog contest, with the bad teeth and random tufts of hair. But you just can’t look away. Crestfallen, I added some flour to the remaining dough and hoped for the best. I got 9 decent looking, but still, totally flat cookies. Maybe I should stick to the tutoring. Although even that isn't guaranteed to go smoothly.

Monday, March 8, 2010

Pizza rut?


Full disclosure (part deux). Today my friend had an IM status about trying a “pizzacone.” A quick trip to Google, and the recipe plagiarism cogs were a-turning. The pizza cone is just what it sounds like – cone of crust filled with all the pizza goodies you’ve come to know and love. You can read about it here or here or here.

So, in the time-honored tradition of attempting to re-create restaurant foods at home (see Red Lobster ® cheddar bay biscuits or Cinnabons ™), I thought, “Heck, I can do this.”

Enter 1 tube of wheat grands biscuits, 3 sausage links, a huge pile of spinach, 1 small can of tomato sauce, and some mozzarella. I first split the biscuits in half, squished them into a muffin tin, poked them all over with a fork, and sent them into a 375 oven. The fork poking, of course, did nothing. After about 10 minutes in the oven, I had 12 muffin shaped biscuits (not dainty conical shells). The fork came back into play and made quick work of the crust innards. The guts came out really easily, actually. Meanwhile, I browned up the sausage (I like my sausages like I like my plates and tubs – hot), added the spinach to sauté and finally topped it off with the can of tomato sauce. A few herbs and garlic powder finished it off. I spooned this sausage mixture into the hollowed out biscuit-muffins, and sprinkled a little mozzarella on top.


Back into the oven, at a lower temp so nothing would burn, went the little muffins of pizza joy. About 5 minutes later the cheese had melted, and the faux-pizzacones were ready. They were pretty darn tasty and most came out of the tin easily. My only concern is that this idea isn’t the most original. But then again, maybe this is the kind of straight-forward simplicity the P-bury committee is looking for.

Common-Taters on the Lax*

In addition to several naps, (maxin' and reLAXin'), I did rustle up some imagination this weekend, in that I imagined a parmasean-flecked pie-crust atop my scalloped-potato-and-asparagus pie. I think it hit the nail on the head as far as seasonal appropriateness, as the satisfyingly warm, cheesy potatoes were complemented by sprightly rounds of spring-fresh green. It snowed last week, and then on Sunday got up to the high 50s -- it seems NYC is emerging from the cold gray, and we won't need to fight off the piles of snow with piles of potatoes much longer. Perhaps the dish lacked complexity, but as Rachel pointed out, we cleaned our plates entirely, including the baking pan.

Hopefully it won't jinx the warm weather to look forward to summer bonfires for inspiration for my next Pills baking experiment. Matt and I enjoyed an incredibly charming and simple dessert, a toasted marshmallow on a stick dipped in chocolate, as part of a very enjoyable night hearing some of his music played live at Lincoln Center (he is an orchestral rock star!). While this is probably not the most original of concepts, I'd like to try my hand at a peanut-butter-s'mores pie. Graham crust, a dense layer of peanut-butter cheese-cake, a thin layer of melted chocolate, topped with marshmallowy meringue...such stuff as dreams are made on.**

*I cannot claim creativity points for this title. Yes, it is yet another girly childhood literary allusion: Pa Ingalls presented the riddle of two potatoes on an axe to the townsfolk on the prairie: common taters on the axe, or rather, Commentators on the Acts.
**Um, I can't take credit for this line, either. Thanks again, Bill.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Slow Your (Casse)Role

Let me begin this entry with full disclosure. I stole this idea from Claire. Earlier this week, while killing time before our friend Melanie’s show, Claire whipped up a heck of a chicken casserole. Chicken + carrots + onion + cheese + big crispy bread crumbs. So with a fridge full of discounted biscuits, I tried to think of a way I could morph this recipe to fit the P-bury parameters.

What I came up with was some seared chicken (went with thighs for flavor), broccoli, green onion, and turnips. The turnips were honestly on a whim, and out of curiosity. I decided that this mixture needed to be combined with some sour cream and cheese and topped off with some biscuits. So the assembly began. I par-boiled the turnips to ensure they’d cook through, then mixed this with the chopped broc, onion and chicken that I had browned with a heavy dose of “old world seasoning.” This was put into a casserole dish, upon which I poured a spurious mixture of sour cream and milk. In my head this would become a beautiful thick and tangy white sauce. I finished it off by topping with cheese and some biscuit halves.










I set this to bake at 350, and pulled it out when the top was nice and browned. The result was…a little odd. The sauce didn’t exactly thicken. In fact, is it possible for sour cream to separate? All the individual elements were pretty tasty, but they didn’t gel as I had hoped. Perhaps a couple teaspoons of flour or corn starch in the sour cream mixture would be advantageous.

Going into this, saying I had no idea what I was doing, would have been an understatement. So, lessons learned. And turnips conquered!

Monday, March 1, 2010

No Spring Chicken

The quality of sunlight changed this morning, the snow is melting, and the asparagus at the grocery store seems to possibly be of more local origin. I'm not afraid to embrace the change (though my northern upbringing cautions that it's months too early to anticipate spring), and I can at least pin my hopes to the decreased desire to consume gallons of creamy soup and whole-roasted pigs. Perhaps the time is at hand for the lighter side of baking to shine in our recipe pursuit.

A fruit tart with custard could be nice...or Tracy's apple-ginger turnovers...maybe even some sort of angel food cake? Veggie pie could star the tender new plants that will pop out of the ground, and fail-safe souffle would celebrate the eggs that do thusly from chicken butts. Or the Easter Bunny...

-Which reminds me of the Easter weekend that I went to Capri via Naples (and ran into Rachel and her roommates there, proving much more fun than my and mine alone). Many many wonderful sights were seen and times had, but for now I just want to note an interesting bakery treat. On our long trip back, ferry from Capri to Naples and overnight train from Naples to Florence, my roommate and I were a little distressed (though we should have known) to find EVERYTHING closed in Naples on Easter, and us without dinner. But wait -- there! We spotted some patrons exiting a tiny bakery just a block from the train station.

We shyly stepped in, scanning the shelves for something hardier than a roll. There was a grandiose bread, quite a bit fancier and more involved than the cookies on either side of it. It was studded with whole hard-boiled eggs on top, and the cross-section revealed a quiche-like interior of egg, ham, and cheese. I chatted (read: mangled a few sentences in Italian) with the baker and tried to figure out what exactly this thing was. The baker was so pleased to meet a nice American that could speak with him, and said he was just closing up and was happy to give us giant slices of the bread/pie/quiche. He mentioned something about it being traditional Easter food, what with the eggs and celebratory rich ingredients. It was delicious and kept me full and content all the way back to Florence.