Tough Cookie

Well, I had wanted my newest blog entry to be about balance. I had this great entry all worked up in my head, but then I remembered that tomorrow is the birthday of one of my SAT students. So , I attempted to whip up a batch of sugar cookies for him. The result was so terrible that I knew I had to write about that instead.

The premise was pretty simple. I found a sugar cookie recipe in my recipe bible, aka The Better Homes and Gardens Cook Book. It even had a best loved heart next to it. Best Loved! I could already imagine how tomorrow would go at tutoring.

Dereck: Wow, miss. You made me cookies!? You’re the best tutor ever.
Rachel: Oh, that’s so sweet of you to say, Dereck. I do it because I care. Happy birthday.

And then I would tutor the hell out of those next two hours, while the students sat back with full bellies and smiles on their faces. Pythagorean theorems utilized, thesis statements written, vocabulary words successfully inserted into sentences. Yeah, the best tutor ever.

Sadly, I don’t foresee that happening. I think what will actually happen is closer to:

Frantic, running-late Rachel: Uh, hi. Hello, right here! Pay attention! Goddamn it, Dereck, I made you cookies!!
Dereck: What? These gross looking things? Uh, thanks I guess.
Rachel: Oh, give me a break. It’s the thought that counts. Get your book out.

I think the problem started when I decided to go with a half batch. Halving is hard. For instance, what is half of 3 egg whites? And what is half of 1 ¾ cup? My brain said a little less than 1 cup. But I think my hands went for way less than 1 cup. The dough was loose (and not the fun kind). And why does any recipe ever call for cream of tartar? I figured skipping that would be fine. I also spruced up the recipe a bit with some lemon and lime zest.

Oh, BHG I should never have deviated from your wisdom. The result was completely flat, rock-hard little discs of evilness. What I was able to scrape off the cookie sheet actually didn’t taste that bad, but it was repulsive to look at. Like that chihuahua that won the ugliest dog contest, with the bad teeth and random tufts of hair. But you just can’t look away. Crestfallen, I added some flour to the remaining dough and hoped for the best. I got 9 decent looking, but still, totally flat cookies. Maybe I should stick to the tutoring. Although even that isn't guaranteed to go smoothly.