Winner is served.

Well, my little Pillsbury groupies, in case you did not hear, the winner of the 2010 bake-off was announced. Big congrats to Sue Compton for her “Mini Ice Cream Cookie Cups.” They do look really yummy. However, this throws a bit of a wrench into our situation.

You see, our dear friend Jenny Tang had astutely observed that there had been a certain trend in P-bury winners. While history has favored sweet/dessert recipes, the last 14 years or so had suggested a new oscillating pattern.

UNTIL THIS YEAR! Now we’ve had 2 sweet winners in a row. Who knows what the committee will be looking for in 2012? I suppose we should factor in economic forces. It’s been a rough couple of years. The world is looking for a delicious, small way to treat themselves. Forget stay-cations, the real trend is baking up a batch of brownies with your kids. Pillsbury has always pulled at the heart-strings of America, knowing along with the likes of Hallmark and LoLcats, just what our sappy hearts yearn for. These are probably amazing days for Pillsbury. In fact, take a look at this analysis:

Ok, to be honest, I thought that the above chart would reveal something amazing. For the most part, it seems that when unemployment is on the decline sweet recipes tend to reign, which of course goes against my hypothesis above. Really there doesn't seem to be any tie to what kind of recipe wins and the state of our economic health. Now my faith is restored in the Pillsbury bake-off. Perhaps it really is about who has the best-tasting, best-looking food. Conspiracy theories be damned! Back to the kitchen!

Osh Kosh Ganache!

Alright, let’s leave the gimmicks at the door today. All you get in this entry is some good old fashioned bake-off straight-talk.

About a week ago, I was reading a recipe in Cook’s Illustrated for these insane chocolate cupcakes. Long story short, Claire and I baked these suckers up, complete with chocolate ganache filling. I started to wonder, what else could you fill with such a lovely concoction? How about Pillsbury Crescent Rolls?

I decided to make a peanut butter ganache, and add chocolate chips. So over a double-boiler I combined pb, heavy cream, powdered sugar and semi-sweet chocolate chips. I popped open the roll of crescents, and got to filling. The crescent rolls weren’t really shaped nicely for stuffing, so I tried a couple options – rectangular little spring rolls, and triangular purses (complete with a rose on top using the extra dough).

For a final touch I sprinkled a mixture of sugar, nutmeg and cinnamon on top, and sent them into the 375 oven.
Now let me discuss the results. My exact words upon taking a bite of one of the still warm spring rolls were “HOLY F*CK!” They were, and are delicious! Oh golly, I guess there’s not much to dislike. I’m quite pleased with the texture, too. Could this be a winning submission? I plan on taking some into the office tomorrow to get outside opinions, but hopes are high that others are just as pleased as I.

The Phyllo is Risen, Indeed

Has it really been so long? We've missed you, too! Let's travel back in time, all the way to Easter. All of a sudden, it was 80 degrees, the tree buds were fairly popping out, and Matt pulled out the yellow-striped linen shirt that is the true sign of the season (as well as a sign of lack of ironing skills/effort). I baked a plain old Pills cake, smoothing the batter onto a cookie sheet in anticipation of cutting it into fun-themed shapes and colorful frosting decoration. But ah -- foiled! -- the frosting was chocolate, and while much more delicious, did not abide by food coloring. In case you're in a bind for time though, here's a handy tip: the cake only took about 15 minutes to bake up nice and golden.

But that was just a preamble, testing the water with a toe, or, if you will, dipping a finger in the flour. (You know, instead of a "green thumb," I would suggest that Rachel, Tracey, and I have "buttered thumbs.") The real show would be with dinner, and it turned out to be just as much of a snap.

The picture on the box made it all look so simple, and happily, it was. Classy but unassuming, the general aura of the phyllo dough box seemed to say, "Oh, how about some napoleons? Or just a little baklava? That sounds nice." Sure, why not? Mr. Chef helped brush the butter onto the dough, Rachel pared away the edges and layered the sheets, and I cooked down some a big pack of Chinatown strawberries into jam. Things hummed along, and we learned that cookie cutters cannot compete with phyllo, but that's just fine. Triangles are great, thanks.

The warmth and butter and sugar created a sort of hazy hang-over halo of happy fatigue. Maybe that's why I thought it didn't matter much that the wand-mixer flung bits of chocolatey cream, spackling us with dessert. We laughed and rolled our eyes, and bundled it up to go to Melanie's place. She treated us to a perfect feast, and we found many ways to construct and consume our phyllo-strawberry-chocolate-cream towers, perhaps falling victim to their namesake's ambition, but only with happy, delicious ends.

Brownie Points

Another shout-out to Cook's Illustrated, the wonderful magazine the churns out perfect, easy-to-follow recipes. I'm so sorry to now cannibalize them, but this recipe needs to reach the world. Matt and I made these scrumptious brown sugar cookies the other night, without much exertion, just perhaps a few extra dirty bowls. That is no price at all to pay for these chewy caramel delights. I apologize for sounding like poorly written magazine copy. Here's the recipe (I made a half-batch to reduce the possibility of us eating 50 of them at once):
http://www.bigoven.com/162655-Brown-Sugar-Cookies---Cooks-Illustrated-recipe.html

Cuckoo Shock

Situation: Dinner at Tracy's. Rachel has been requested to bring "dessert?" She accepts the challenge. It is also fantasy baseball draft day, leaving Rachel with surprisingly little time to figure out what this dessert will be.

Approach: Cogs in Rachel's brain begin to turn (ever slowly). "What is fast?" she thinks. "Pudding pie," a little cog says. "Oh, what flavor!?" A trip to the jello-o website reveals a whole host of options. Chocolate! Vanilla! Banana Cream! and the pièce de résistance ...White Chocolate! Go little cogs, go. "What goes with white chocolate?" How about a strawberry...jam? Or pretzels would be nice. Something along the lines of chocolate covered pretzels in a white chocolate pudding.

Execution: A trip to the grocery store reveals what Rachel had long suspected. No white chocolate pudding!! But the others were there (and on sale 4 for $3). New plan, quickly devised. What would go with banana cream? Rachel has to think outside the box if she's going to ever win that Pillsbury bake-off, let alone please her friends at dinner. Then genius strikes...Cocoa Puffs! They're crunchy, chocolaty. They will be delicious in a creamy banana pudding.

And so it went. A quick and easy pudding pie, constructed and let to set for an hour or so.

Results: Shockingly weird. The cocoa puffs did not stand up to the pudding, and became chewy, half-soggy, cardboardy mystery nuggets in the middle of the pudding. New theories postulated - any mix-ins must be impermeable. Suggested solutions include the previously mentioned chocolate covered pretzels, whoppers, or Reeses balls.

Bonus: Pretty good fantasy baseball team.

Like the Desserts Miss the Rain, MacArthur Park

Rachel, kudos on the tutor cookies. You are such a good maiden aunt! And you even fed me in my own time of need, as you, Jenny, and Chins provided hardy beef stew and mint-chocolate cake that could vanquish any tree-ripping, sky-weeping storm. Here's a re-cap of the cake, that was simple and yet so very very good:

1 box Pills Devil's Food cake (plus what they indicate to make batter)
1 package mint-chocolate chips
1 (8 oz.) carton heavy cream (or whipping cream)
loads of mint extract
more chocolate

Ok, I have to admit, I was still basically asleep when the cake was made, but that will only make this remembrance more dream-like, and esoteric, right?

Make the cake like a normal cake and mix in the chips. Bake and cool. For the frosting, borrow your nice neighbor's totally sweet hand-mixer/wand that rotates 800-million times per second. Melt some semi-sweet chocolate (I really have no idea how much, maybe 3 ounces). Let it cool, but stay melted. Whip it in with the cream, add enough mint extract so that it hits you like a shot of whiskey, and don't stop till the peaks are stiff. Frost and enjoy the perfect combination of quilted-downhome chocolately-warm goodness and whippet-fresh bright-eyed wonder. We figure we can soup it up a little for the Pills submission, but this is a winner taste, ease, and appearance-wise. And we did not leave it outside in the tempest of rain...

Now, to bring you up to date, last night we

LOVED

Tracy's inspiration: apple dump cake. Which might need a slight name change. Suggestions? Votes? Here are some to riff on or start your own creative juices flowing:

- Apple Goop (*plays on association with everyone's most beloved actress, Gwyneth Paltow!)
- Prairie Pie (*unfortunately plays on association with people stewing prairie dogs)
- Autumn Cobbler (*positive and negative associations with aging Geppetto)
- Butta Flava (*could help develop inroads with various judge demographics)

I don't even want to give this recipe away, but will mention that some cranberries were key to balance and appearance. Maybe Tracy will craft an interpretive dance to fully convey the beauty, symmetry, and grace of this dish.

Tough Cookie

Well, I had wanted my newest blog entry to be about balance. I had this great entry all worked up in my head, but then I remembered that tomorrow is the birthday of one of my SAT students. So , I attempted to whip up a batch of sugar cookies for him. The result was so terrible that I knew I had to write about that instead.

The premise was pretty simple. I found a sugar cookie recipe in my recipe bible, aka The Better Homes and Gardens Cook Book. It even had a best loved heart next to it. Best Loved! I could already imagine how tomorrow would go at tutoring.

Dereck: Wow, miss. You made me cookies!? You’re the best tutor ever.
Rachel: Oh, that’s so sweet of you to say, Dereck. I do it because I care. Happy birthday.

And then I would tutor the hell out of those next two hours, while the students sat back with full bellies and smiles on their faces. Pythagorean theorems utilized, thesis statements written, vocabulary words successfully inserted into sentences. Yeah, the best tutor ever.

Sadly, I don’t foresee that happening. I think what will actually happen is closer to:

Frantic, running-late Rachel: Uh, hi. Hello, right here! Pay attention! Goddamn it, Dereck, I made you cookies!!
Dereck: What? These gross looking things? Uh, thanks I guess.
Rachel: Oh, give me a break. It’s the thought that counts. Get your book out.

I think the problem started when I decided to go with a half batch. Halving is hard. For instance, what is half of 3 egg whites? And what is half of 1 ¾ cup? My brain said a little less than 1 cup. But I think my hands went for way less than 1 cup. The dough was loose (and not the fun kind). And why does any recipe ever call for cream of tartar? I figured skipping that would be fine. I also spruced up the recipe a bit with some lemon and lime zest.

Oh, BHG I should never have deviated from your wisdom. The result was completely flat, rock-hard little discs of evilness. What I was able to scrape off the cookie sheet actually didn’t taste that bad, but it was repulsive to look at. Like that chihuahua that won the ugliest dog contest, with the bad teeth and random tufts of hair. But you just can’t look away. Crestfallen, I added some flour to the remaining dough and hoped for the best. I got 9 decent looking, but still, totally flat cookies. Maybe I should stick to the tutoring. Although even that isn't guaranteed to go smoothly.